Remnants of My Confidence
This is the second-last poem from a series that I started on my Instagram account, @eccentric_writer, in which I’ve posted poems based on words my followers gave me. The following is one such poem, based on the word ‘Remnants’. Scroll down to the end to read about my inspiration and purpose for writing this poem.
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It is hard to survive
When they drive
Words like knives
Into my heart.
It is hard to pretend
To still like them
Even after hearing
Their mean comments.
I force myself
To focus on the positives,
But it does feel
As if I’m selling myself
As a product.
Still, I feel guilty
For thinking like this,
Knowing how many
Would kill for all this.
So I collect
The remnants
Of my confidence,
And sing
For their entertainment,
‘Cause that’s all I am,
A pretty smile,
A pretty voice,
Their little doll,
Bedecked in jewels.
But it’s bit unsettling,
I confess.
It’s a bit unsettling
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(This is a poem that I have written from the perspective of an artist in the pop music industry, but it can be seen in the light of other lucrative entertainment industries also. I think it is especially relevant for female artists as it highlights the dehumanising effect fame can have on their lives and their self confidence. I will not say that others do not face the same treatment, but I believe that female artists have to face the most judgement and harassment. One big inspiration behind this poem is Halsey’s song, ‘Gasoline’, which had a huge impact on me personally. But also, with the advent on social media and the safety of anonymity, celebrities and singers often have to bear the brunt of trolling and have to face intrusuon of privacy at the hands of ‘fans’, so all this really inspired me to write this poem.)
